I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
