I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
