dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
