Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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