some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
And then he peed in my hair
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