i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
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mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
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I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize