My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I want a musical about memes.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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