Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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