I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
