Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Let's get the cat blown out
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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