Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
