Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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