sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize