well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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