When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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