He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
