Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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