dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
