Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
