Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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