Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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