Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
