Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
