The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
