hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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