Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
That reminds me...we need to get swords
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
