were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
