sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
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It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
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So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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