I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Welp...herpes.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
found the other keg... it's in the tree
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
