I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
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she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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