"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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