I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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