I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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