I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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