i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize