i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
