Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
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we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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