im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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