goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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