This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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