: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
