Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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