I skipped work to stalk him.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
