and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
