Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
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Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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