had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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