Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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