here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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