Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
