I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Shitshow foam night was such a success
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
