grandma shit on top of the toilet
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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