I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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