her vagine was all disorganized.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
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Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
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So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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