Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
