i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
