Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
