I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
